Gracefully Navigating Job Search Conversations this Holiday Season

Photo by Nicole Michalou

The holidays are a wonderful time to reconnect with friends and family, but they can also bring a unique kind of stress—especially when you’re navigating questions about work when things aren’t going exactly as you planned. It’s a little bit easier seeing relatives you haven’t seen in a long time when you’re feeling confident in a contract, or settled in a role that you’re excited to talk about. It can feel a little more shaky if you’re in between roles or feeling stuck in your day-to-day.

But here’s the good news: you don’t have to feel nervous. With a little preparation and mindset-shifting, you can face questions about “how’s work?” with confidence and maybe even enjoy catching up with loved ones! By taking a few moments to strategize before the gatherings begin, you’ll be ready to steer conversations in a way that feels comfortable and authentic—or at least less daunting.

Here are some practical tips to help you navigate those work-related conversations and focus on what truly matters this holiday season.

Remember Your Confidence

As the holidays start to ramp up, take some time to remember who you are. Recalling our confidence helps not only with the stress of a search or difficult job situation, but it helps build a forcefield around you when facing uncomfortable questions or “how’s work?” inquires. Here are some tips to remembering your confidence:

• Make a list of ways that You Matter. We can get down on ourselves when we feel stuck or leads on promising opportunities are taking longer to materialize than planned. However, has time away from a day-to-day grind opened up time for you to volunteer, be an on-time carpool driver, or helped to wrangle the holiday craziness in your house? Write down the ways that you matter. Tapping into all the ways that you being you are important to those around you helps recall your sense of importance more readily, arming you with a feeling of confidence as you think about upcoming gatherings and conversations.

• Recall projects or events from your life and career that fill you with a sense of accomplishment. When you are struggling through a job search or feeling stuck in your current role, the emotion surrounding accomplishments can often be forgotten. Tapping into events—whether personal or work related that evoke the feeling of accomplishment—can bubble feelings of positivity to the surface. Owning some of that feeling can help you “show up” to the event in a more confident manner. Even if you can’t sense it, those around you will feel a more positive energy.

• Remember why you were hired. Walk through your resume or LinkedIn profile and remember why you were hired at each job. What sparked the connection? During a search, we can find ourselves stuck in the quest for What’s Next while forgetting the successes that laid the ground work that helped us get to where we are, today.

Do the Conversation Pre-Work

It’s one thing to be nervous about questions thrown your way and it’s another thing to be prepared to steer the conversations towards interesting topics. Prior to an upcoming gathering, take some time to prepare. Consider finding a few quiet moments to think about the following points—working through a journal on how to address expected questions can help you remember how you’d like to handle the situations with a calm and confident approach.

• Set boundaries. Think ahead to how you are going to answer the questions that you anticipate arising and prepare responses that withhold or share the right amount of information. One response you can consider if someone is pressing you for more information could be something like, “Thanks for asking, but I’m trying to take a break from job talk for now and enjoy the holiday spirit. I really appreciate your interest though!”

• Be ready for advice. People naturally want to help and offer tried-and-true job search suggestions—be prepared for how to gracefully respond to this advice. You can try something like, “Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll keep that in mind as I explore my options.”

• What’s been interesting you? During your search you may have encountered interesting podcasts, books, or hobbies. Make note of those and think about why they interest you. Sharing these topics can also help steer the conversation back to the individual and towards more interesting topics or subjects that simply feel better to talk about.

Navigating holiday conversations when you’re in a job search or in a job you’re unhappy with can feel daunting, but with a little preparation you can feel more confident and turn those moments into opportunities to connect, reflect, and even steer the conversation in a positive direction while preserving your energy. You are not defined by your job status. You bring a wealth of experiences, talents, and interests that make you interesting and worthy of meaningful conversations.

The holidays are about more than just what’s happening professionally; they’re about celebrating the connections that truly matter. I’m always here to help along your path or to simply say hello and happy holidays! Reach out to me anytime.